Dating Works

I’m a little late for last week's post but I wanted to talk about something that is near and dear to me so I didn't want to skip it. Dating is something that seems to, unfortunately, be going out of style. I say unfortunately because it is such a vital step to marriage and a vital thing after marriage to keep spouses together. There are three things that clarify a date: planned, paid for, and paired off. If these three are involved then you are definitely on a date. It can be planned by either person or planned together but there needs to be a definite plan. And it needs to be paid for by one person or the other and it needs to be clear who is with whom. If you are just hanging out as a group of friends it isn't clear who is with whom and therefore it is not a date.

When you go on dates, there are certain things that make the other person seem more attractive than before. This can be attributed to a little thing called "Misattribution of Arousal." This can be because of non-specific autonomic arousal (autonomic meaning involuntary or unconscious) or because of Cognition. Cognition is defined as "the mental action or process of acquiring knowledge and understanding through thought, experience, and the senses." Basically this means that when you do something with someone that makes you feel something, you start to feel more towards that person you are with. So if you want someone to like you, go do something dangerous or listen to all their favorite songs or something. 

My husband planned a date that did all those things and therefore I can never forget. I have to dare say it is the date where I officially fell utterly and hopelessly in love with him. We started out the night by him picking me up for a motorcycle ride. The idea of him coming to my house to get me is a huge point because it shows he is a gentleman. And the motorcycle ride was exhilarating, causing the feelings I already had for him to grow immensely. We rode together (just the two of us making it a real date) down some windy dirt roads. Being able to hold tight to him and be lost in my own happy blissful thoughts made it feel like he was my only hold to the ground, otherwise I would just float away. This feeling was amplified when he stopped at the top of a mountain and we stared quietly at the majestic city lights and never ending stars above. It felt perfect in every way. Except that it was getting pretty chilly so we stopped by his house for some hot chocolate and talked.

This date was perfect for him and me. And honestly the beginning of a love without end.  Without dates we would never have this memory or this connection we have now. Dates are important in finding the right person and in taking the steps needed to become ready to be married for all time. Let’s Date More.